Comment Expectations For Keeping the Community Safe
Safe and respectful comments are welcome after the blog article. Unsafe and disrespectful comments will be deleted. What constitutes as safe and respectful versus unsafe and disrespectful?
Safe And Respectful Commenting:
Comments composed of “I” statements. Use “I” statements to convey how you feel, what you think and what you need or want. Some examples include:
o I feel sad and am reminded of a similar incident in my own life.
o I feel excited and hopeful after reading this article. I hope to make similar changes in my life.
o I am inspired to write my story down.
o I think, in my life, this concept would be helpful in some ways, and perhaps not as helpful in others.
Comments that are calm and to the point. It’s okay to share excitement and joy, or even anger, as long as the comments are not written to inflame an argument or elicit pity. Another way to put this, please don’t throw out hooks to create a heated or depressing discussion. That can be very painful for people.
Comments that create understanding
Comments that are kind
Comments in response to a blog post, come from a guest. If the words are something that make you a good guest, then it’s probably safe to write them out in a comment.
If you want to share a disagreement, consider following some simple principles:
o Don’t make anything written personal. Remember, you’re disagreeing with an idea or concept, and your disagreement is totally valid. And please remember that whatever you’re disagreeing with is equally valid. There’s no need to put down someone’s character or intelligence, nor will that strengthen a logical argument. It just reveals the poor character of the author who chose to frame their disagreement that way.
o Please don’t put down someone’s ideas or beliefs. As stated above, your ideas and comments are as valid as anyone else’s. Respecting people means making space for their thoughts and beliefs. Making space doesn’t mean you agree with it, it just means making space for it.
Unsafe and Disrespectful Commenting:
Using “you” statements or making generalizations; Some examples include statements beginning with:
o “You people…”
o “You are wrong. According to shaykh….etc.”
o “You make me…”
o “You made me…”
o “You always…” or “You never…” (vague laundry lists)
Comments with judgement
Comments with criticism
Comments with blame
Comments written with hooks.
Comments written to elicit an argument or heated debate.
Comments with yelling – comments written in all caps, means the author is yelling.
Comments with personal attacks, such as attacking someone’s character or intelligence.
Comments that travel far off topic and are not related to the blog post.
Comments with threats.
Comments that are offensive.
Please avoid making and acting on assumptions. If it wasn’t written, then assuming a deeper meaning and making comments about it, does not lead to effective communication, connection or sharing. If there is confusion, please consider asking a question to clarify the confusion.
Comments whose real purpose is to advertise and market for “other” people's services. Basically, virtual graffiti. Sharing personal experience, strength and hope relevant to the topic is strongly encouraged. Advertising someone else's business (or pretending to with a fake story) is not appreciated. If the story and excitement is real, then trust their business model works, you don’t need to do their marketing for them in the comments of my personal blog. Please respect this space as a place for personal reflection, human connection, healing and growth.
Please remember, this is my blog, full of my experience, strength and hope. I am an American (i.e. Westerner) and a spiritual healer. Keep in mind, that’s the context in which I share my experience, strength and hope. I am not an Islamic scholar. I have no rights or abilities to issue fatwas, nor do I claim to teach from a learned scholar’s perspective. I trust anyone reading my writing understands and knows that. The fact that I make music, a hotly debated topic in the Islamic world, is enough to make that clear. My life is not meant to be an example for how others can interpret Islam in their life. I am NOT a prophet. My life is simply my life.
I am willing to share aspects of my life, because if someone had done the same for me when I was younger, it would have made a world of difference in my life. I did not receive such a gift, so this is my attempt to make the world a little better than how I experienced it. Everything is in Allah’s Hand, not mine.
May Allah, the Compassionate and the Merciful, be pleased with what is written and shared that is truthful and good. May Allah, the Forgiver and the Healer, forgive me for what is not. And may He bless and forgive us all. Ameen.