I just finished watching the animated film, Ferdinand. I really love this movie. I can relate to a bull, an animal everyone expects to give into its rage and fight, instead he doesn’t want to fight but sit and smell flowers. The character has a gentle nature. What I witnessed growing up was that if you didn’t fight, life, and the people in it, would eat you up. You had to be strong or life would drain you of everything and you would be left with nothing. One time, when I was a teenager, I witnessed something that didn’t go along with this. My family and I were in India, visiting with some adults my Mom wanted to spend time with. I was half listening to their conversation, only because I didn’t really understand the language. But at one point, the woman was describing someone and used the description “simple as a cow”. Being an American, that seemed really insulting. They explained to me, that it was complimentary to be described in such a way. It meant the person’s nature was gentle, easy and without deception. And it was openly acknowledged as a good thing. This really blew my mind. In my family, intelligence and cleverness were respected, because that meant you could survive, whether it be by your wits, or by getting a good education and then a good job somewhere. It was all attributed to whether you were smart, or clever enough. And in my family, the bar was set really high. Case in point, in my family of origin, I’m the only one that isn’t addressed as “Dr. Ahmad”.
And yet, the deeper I get to know myself - for she who knows herself knows her lord - the more gentleness I uncover. Is the world really safe enough for me to be my fully gentle self? I used to be told, “don’t be a goody two-shoe. Nobody likes a goody two-shoe.” Which led me to believe that you could be “too good” and being “too good” is bad. But I’m learning, there is no such thing as being too good. That kind of thing is said when one person’s light, hits against someone else’s darkness. It’s painful to witness our darkness. Instead of addressing our revealed pain and darkness, some of us will lash out and try to put out the other person’s light. It’s a terrible choice. Instead of taking the opportunity to face the pain and heal, we choose to attempt to bring the other person down, and even risk in the process adding to their pain and wounds. We have opportunities around us, to raise ourselves and support those around us to raise themselves. It is unfortunate when someone chooses not to take the opportunity. It’s tragic when they choose to bring others down with them.
Is it safe for me to be my fully gentle self in this world? I’m slowly starting to believe it is. If we each contain the ability to reflect Allah’s ar-Rauf, al-Latif, or even ar-Rahim, then Allah must make openings and opportunities for us to reflect them and witness them in others.
“He is the One Who has made perfectly everything He has created: He began the creation of human beings with clay, And made his progeny from a quintessence of the nature of a fluid despised: But He fashioned him in due proportion, and breathed into him something of His spirit…”
“The work of Allah who has perfected everything (He created).”
So Allah made this world perfectly. That includes the world is made perfectly to express who we are in any given moment. Whether we’re expressing veils (wounds and pain) or reflecting Allah’s qualities (ar-Rauf or al-Latif). If I have gentleness or tenderness to share, if I have love or peace to reflect, surely there must be enough safety in this world to express it, somewhere. So then my part is to be open to witnessing when I’m shown where and how. No? Hmmm. Peace and love.
Where do you witness gentleness in the world? When is it safe for you to show your gentleness? Please share in the comments below.
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