Mariam-Saba Ahmad
Playing Both Sides of the Relationship and How ...

The problem with not “showing up” in a relationship, namely not speaking up, sharing my reality, or conveying what’s going on with me, is I automatically have determined the outcome of the interaction. By making the choice to not show up, I’m making the choice for both of us, how the scenario is going to play out. Because it’s already playing out with my current silence. In this way, I’m playing both sides of the relationship. I’m playing my side, having my experience of the relationship and reacting to my experience. I’m playing the other side, in my head, imagining showing up and sharing whatever I want to share, imagining their reaction based on either my history and projections or based on our history and projection of who I see them as, imagining the fallout and difficulty in repair, if there even is a repair, and then choosing to not go down that road because it’s not worth it. I’ve just made the choice for both of us.

Playing Both Sides of the Relationship and How to Stop

Let Go Let God

Let Go Let God

Let Go Let God

I opened up the space in me to something bigger than me. Something wiser than me. I let go of my need to understand the logic and reason of why I’m doing something before I do it, when the Guidance is clear. I have let my intuition earn my trust slowly over time so I could take these bigger and scarier steps. When I “let go and let God” I witness and experience wonderous things in my life. And my reason and logic get to have new things to gnaw on and process as I go. They get new and interesting data and input. Reason and logic are important. They just aren’t the only sources to consult before moving forward with a decision or plan.