I recently heard a dating coach make a strong statement. In his experience, women have lost their connection to their intuition. He believed it was because women explored romantic relationships with men at a young enough age where most young men are not ready for it. Inevitably the young woman gets hurt, then to avoid future pain she shuts her connection with her intuition down and turns to logic and reason.
It’s an interesting theory. In my case, I don’t think it was that simple, but it’s a good jumping off point. Why do we rely on reason and logic so heavily? There’s a belief that it helps us avoid further pain and possible missteps. I would say logic and reason have helped me avoid pain and mistakes. I would also say they have kept me in repeating patterns of pain and mistakes. Logic and reason without wisdom and truth are incomplete. If our intuition connects us to the Divine, then real Truth (al-Haqq) and real Wisdom (al-Hakeem) is bestowed via our intuition.
As a culture, we like to believe that wisdom comes from experience. The flaw in that is if our experiences are dictated by our choices and our choices are dictated by our reason and logic, then our wisdom can only be developed to the degree our reason and logic permit.
I first started medical school when I turned 30 years old. I was significantly older than some of my classmates. Was I wiser? In some ways yes, and other ways no. Why? If I have more life experience, shouldn’t I have been wiser in all areas? Because my mind and logic dictated my life and choices to an extreme degree. For example, it’s not a bad choice to go to medical school, in fact it’s a very logical choice. In my case however, it wasn’t the wisest choice.
I’d like to say real Wisdom comes from the Divine. Sometimes wisdom is bestowed through life experience, sometimes it’s bestowed directly through an intuitive knowing – but only if we’re open to receiving it.
Allah is al-Wadud, the Loving. Love won’t force us to receive It’s gifts and generosity because Love respects our free will. So if we close off or ignore our intuition then we won’t receive the benefits of it. Which brings me back to the why.
Why would we say “no” to Wisdom? Usually the logic and reason I rely on came from my intellectual mind seated in my brain. The problem with that is our intellectual brain-mind is built to detect patterns. The brain-mind perceives reality through previous experiences. It’s why we psychologically project past experiences onto people and situations in the present. Our projections are our mind identifying patterns and perceiving them in new places to aid us in avoiding potential problems. The difficulty is the projected patterns are a kind of fantasy and it can prevent us from seeing what’s really happening in the current moment. When I have relied solely on my mind, solely on logic and reason, solely on my past experiences for wisdom, I don’t perceive new opportunities as new opportunities, or new experiences as wholly new experiences. I see only the pattern my mind has developed and been trained to see which is something that is based on my historical experiences.
I have learned I need intuition in my life. My intuition clues me in. Logic and reason said very strongly and loudly stay in medical school and finish up. I only had a short period left and I had invested and sacrificed so much to get that far. Reason said I could wait, finish the degree, then I’d always have credibility and a way to make money and take care of myself. My intuition, however, said very clearly “your time here is done.” And as I asked for more, my intuition showed me that if I stayed, I would not be able to separate out my faith in provision from God from my faith in provision from the piece of paper that said I had completed my medical doctorate education successfully. I have learned that what we place in front of God, we eventually lose.
Until 2015, I relied heavily on my logic and reason to make my life choices. Going against it and leaving medical school was very difficult and scary for me. There was a lot to process with that decision. After I left, it took another eight months for the first break in my constant swirling doubts about the decision. A few years later, I don’t regret the decision. It was a huge act of faith and self-love.
I have learned for me, I tried to control myself and my life with logic and reason. The illusion of control granted me a sense of safety, which helped me feel functional in my life. The reality is my logic and reason kept me locked into repeating life patterns that inevitably resulted in pain. I repeatedly enrolled in difficult yet respectable educational programs gaining knowledge and skillsets but never using them in service of others, nor ever finding peace, fulfillment, satisfaction or happiness. Happiness is not inspired from the mind, especially if one’s background and history is not already filled with happiness. I only knew hard work and striving for outside approval, so I continued that pattern in my life until I reconnected with my intuition.
I opened up the space in me to something bigger than me. Something wiser than me. I let go of my need to understand the logic and reason of why I’m doing something before I do it, when the Guidance is clear. I have let my intuition earn my trust slowly over time so I could take these bigger and scarier steps. When I “let go and let God” I witness and experience wonderous things in my life. And my reason and logic get to have new things to gnaw on and process as I go. They get new and interesting data and input. Reason and logic are important. They just aren’t the only sources to consult before moving forward with a decision or plan.
Unfolding the Rose
by Jalaluddin Rumi
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
When in my hands they fade and die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Him for His leading
Each moment of every day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the pilgrim way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
Peace and Light,
Mariam-Saba
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