I have a dear friend. This friend is a dear friend even though she lives in a completely different time zone and has a full life that makes it challenging to connect as often as we would both like. And she is a dear enough friend that we have talked about how we both feel about that. It’s her birthday today (today meaning at the time I’m writing this). I felt a little sad that I couldn’t be a part of her day in any significant way, but with so much distance, with the time difference and everything else that seemed to stand in the way, it was understandable. So I felt my feelings and did what I could do, which was to sing her a birthday song. I sent her a voice message of me singing and then some additional birthday prayers and wishes. Unexpectedly, a few minutes later I received a response. She shared that she had been feeling tender in her heart when she went to pray dhur. While she was praying she was asking Allah to meet the needs of her heart, and could hear me singing, which made her wish for what she heard. To her surprise, when she finished praying, she saw there was a voice message from me with the song. Now how sweet and magical is that?
While I had been singing the song for her, it had felt like guidance to include the surah, al-Fatiha. I had felt shy doing so, so didn’t do it. When she shared she had been feeling tender, I knew it must have been real guidance. So I recorded myself singing al-Fatiha for her, with a prayer in my heart that Allah support her and heal her tenderness. After she listened to that, she called me! She was on a walk and shared with me the story behind her tenderness, with all the feelings and needs that went with it. She even shared her experience with Allah, praying dhur, what she prayed for and how she witnessed what Allah gave her through me and other family members after her prayer. Me! Someone who lives thousands of miles away and had assumed I could not be a part of her day in any significant way. After connecting and talking, she shared she felt much better and even felt gratitude for her earlier experiences. Allah definitely granted her support and healing before and during our conversation. He granted my prayers for her. Not only that, He permitted me to witness it! Allah al-Kareem!
To think, I really believed there was no way I could be a part of her day today. Truly. I saw only the things that stood between us in the practical, dunya sense. And with love, patience, willingness to be surprised, Allah can do anything. Anything. I was permitted to be an important part of her day.
In the past, I would have stomped by this moment. It is so gentle, I would have dismissed it. Before my emotional and spiritual growth spurt, I was like a hiker with big, heavy boots on. I hiked the straightest path to what I thought was my destination, never taking my eyes off my goal and definitely not looking around me. I was intent and focused on my destination, I would crush whatever plants, even flowers in my way, only sometimes would I notice a bright purple petal here, or a pink petal there. I could not understand why certain, small moments in my life stood out to me in my memory. Now I see it so clearly. There were gentle moments everywhere. Moments I brought a real smile to someone’s face. Moments where I really had touched someone’s heart. And just as quickly I crushed it, not knowing what I did or why. Now I understand. I was so scared of intimacy, I could not help crushing those moments. Stomp, stomp, stomp. And I walked right past, the image of a crushed flower bush under my boots, stamped into my memory and not understanding why. I dismissed it and just put my eyes back on my goal.
I was like a hiker with big, heavy boots on…I would crush whatever plants, even flowers in my way…
There were gentle moments everywhere.”
Now, my path seems windy and meandering, but I trust it. I trust it, even though I can’t see where I am going, or understand why. Today I’m realizing, one of the benefits is, I’m not in a hurry, stomping and pushing my way somewhere, ignoring my surroundings. I’m not crushing any more beautiful and gentle flowers. And since I don’t know where I’m going, my eyes can rest on the flowers, see them and even appreciate them. That’s new and feels strange. I feel wonder that life is full of these moments and I didn’t even realize it. I feel sad because I realize how much I have missed, dismissed or even crushed directly. I feel grateful I don’t have to do that anymore. I feel hopeful, maybe I can catch more of these beautiful, gentle and tender moments. Apparently life is full of them. Allah ar-Rauf, al-Latif. I had no idea. None. Thanks for letting me share.
Question: Do you have any beautiful, gentle or tender moments you’ve recently experienced and are willing to share? How has Allah showed you kindness recently? Please share in the comments below. You never know who’s heart Allah will nourish with your sharing. Peace and Love.
““…Indeed my Lord is subtle in fulfilling what He wills. Surely He [alone] is the All-Knowing, All-Wise.””
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